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Life With Your Bigs

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Photo by Canva. Story by Whitney Westbrook

We’ve got to follow our Big Kids’ leads, Midlifers.

I mean not when they’re Little and don’t want to eat their vegetables or brush their teeth and when they want to be a dinosaur when they grow up.

And not when they’re Big and want to eat a whole bag of Cheetos and when they want to be an influencer and still not brush their teeth, either.

I mean when they outgrow the cute little curls when they’re Little and the beautiful braids when they’re Big because they’re growing into exactly who they are meant to be.

Gulp.

Photo By Canva

When they tell you they don’t want to go to college.

And then absolutely thrive at work.

When they tell you that they want BANGS in their life.

And despite your warnings, they look like a movie star.

When they tell you their passion is fill-in-the-blank.

And when it’s most definitely not yours.

Big gulp.

Friends, we’ve got to follow our Big Kids’ leads. Let them step into their own lives within the safety of our own.

And sometimes – as long as they’re safe and healthy – shut our flapping lips and open our ear holes wide.

Story and Photo by Whitney Westbrook

Very few things are permanent (not even bangs), but I know I want the relationship I share with my Big Kids to be a lasting thing.

So my door is open wide to my Big Kid, whose passion I’m learning to love, and to the Big Kid who cut her own bangs, and I even made a big deal for the appointment we made where she chopped off TEN full inches of that glorious hair.

As weird as it sometimes is with Big Kids and all the Big Feelings that come with the territory, I really do believe our Big Kids are growing into exactly who they are meant to be.

And I know I sure plan to be on board to enjoy the ride.

Happy gulp. —By Whitney Westbrook, So Very Whitney

Photo Credit Canva

Recently, I realized I’ve done a lot of traveling with my young adult children. However, I’m not referring to family vacations or even the multiple trips back and forth to their current homes. The traveling I am invited to occurs via phone calls initiated by my big kids as they go about errands and work on homework.

Sometimes, I go to Target and virtually keep them company as they shop for items. Once in a while, I accompany them on a drive-through line to their favorite fast food restaurant.

Other times, I walk with them back from class to the dorm. There is no agenda outside of simply connecting and listening. And then, there are moments when I am put on speaker mode, and I sit in silence while homework is worked on. The reason? To simply sit in their presence.

These moments could easily be perceived as inconvenient and mundane. Truthfully, the calls sometimes interrupt my agenda. However, it is a blessing when your big kid initiates the connection. It is something I never want to take for granted.

I wish we could have done more traveling together on vacations when my kids were young. Yet, traveling together and building bonding moments can look like a lot of things. I am learning to be thankful for all of them.

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