
A few short weeks ago, our daughter was graduating from high school. This morning, we flew her halfway across the country to begin her freshman year in college. Her older brother came out of his room to say goodbye, singing, “Leavin’ on a jet plane, don’t know when you’ll be back again…” We laughed. It cut the tension we were all feeling.
I woke early. My husband said I snored so he ๐จ๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ต๐ญ๐บ kicked me all night. I’m surprised I slept so deeply. UghโI’ll have to start using my automated snore pillow again.
Welcome to midlife!
As I hurried around the house before everyone got up, trying to clean up for ‘who knows why’ while we’re gone, all I could think about is how messy my closets are.
How did they get so unorganized? Why didn’t I organize them when we were in lockdown? I had all that time, and I didn’t get anything cleaned or organized. ๐๐ฐ ๐๐ข๐ณ๐ช๐ฆ ๐๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ฅ๐ฐ-๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ง๐ฐ๐ณ ๐ฎ๐ฆ.
I know what I am doingโI am avoiding “it.” ๐ ๐ข๐ฎ ๐ข ๐ฑ๐ณ๐ฐ ๐ข๐ต ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ด.
I’m avoiding thinking about the giant void my daughter leaves behind. The one filled with infectious laughter and the funny, contorted faces she makes when she springs to life ๐ฌ๐๐ฎ ๐ฉ๐ค๐ค ๐ก๐๐ฉ๐ ๐๐ฉ ๐ฃ๐๐๐๐ฉ.
And the other void where she enters a room at full strideโin mid-sentenceโspilling the latest tea. She hates it when I need her to back it up a little, rewind. “Mom, I already told you about so and so…” ๐ผ ๐๐๐๐ค, ๐ก๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐, ๐ผ ๐กโ๐๐๐ ๐ก๐ ๐๐ฆ๐ ๐๐๐.
Noise and commotion also have a way of filling up spaces. My daughter’s girlfriends came over last night to wish her well and keep her company while she packed. I could hear them laughing and stomping up and down the stairs as they helped her load everything into the car for our early morning departure.
Then she yelled, “We’re headed to Taco Bell.” Laughter, chatter, and patter of feet shuffled out the doorโthen silence. ๐๐ฆ๐ข๐ง๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ด๐ช๐ญ๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ค๐ฆ.
This is how it will be, quieter, for a while anyway.
Her two brothers are still at home. They will easily fill some of the spaces she has left behind. Their friends will come over, and jokes and laughter will fill the airโthe TV will inevitably drone on.
The boys each have their own unique way of filling the spaces in our home. It will be comforting to have them home for at least a few more weeks.
But there are some spaces only a daughter, our only daughter, can fill. The space where she’ll let me hold her when she’s sad and hug her until she pulls away with a snarky, “Okay, now, Mom.” As if I didn’t know I was holding her just past ‘comfortable’ on her hug-o-meter.
It’s a good thing she picked Texas. Texas is a big state with lots of open spaceโshe’s going to need all of it. I can’t wait to hear about all the people she meets, the subjects she studies, and the places she goes.
Facetime, family-group texting, and eagerly awaited phone calls will bridge some of the space between us.
She’ll come home for the holidays. Her laughter will again fill the house. From experience with her older brother coming home from college, I know that some spaces will be forever changed. Still, new and exciting dimensions will continue to be added.
There is no holding her back, even if I wanted toโwhich I don’t. The world is a big place, and I’m excited to watch how she chooses to fill up her own unique spaces in her life.
With much love to our daughter, Mom XOXO

Lisa hopes to share life’s stories through the ever-changing platform she founded, called The Evolving Nest.ย She writes and shares insights about her own triumphs and struggles during her 30-year marriage to her husband and best friend. Together they have 3 growing children, two of which live 1,500 miles away most of the year, and an adult son with autism who has the run of the upstairs to himself. Lisa also contributes to Her View From Home, various podcasts, and of course, her own website, The Evolving Nest.
Please consider following The Evolving Nest on Facebook, Instagram, Linkedin or receive the latest post via email, or writing for The Evolving Nest. Lisa is motivated by the quote, “What will the world miss if you don’t tell your story?”-Donald Miller